Can't is a Choice

I can't do it. I remember telling myself I can't do it so many times. I can't do it. I can't stop using heroin. I can't do it. I can't stop drinking. I can't do it. I can't stop acting like this. I can't do it.

If we continue to tell ourselves “I can't do it” that tends to happen. We can't do it. Believing in yourself is a key pillar towards recovery and personal development, believing in yourself and what you can actually do as a game changer. In my journey, I used a milestone method. It's called ‘smart goals’. Smart goals to recovery is kind of what I token it as if you're looking for how to set up a smart goal, you can get a free workshop at my website, www.nohalonm.com. I break down how to set up a smart goal. Part of these smart goals is choosing an achievable outcome. If you believe that you can achieve it, the more likely you will get it done, the achievable aspect of recovery is what I think. Intimidates a lot of individuals, it intimidates me the first four years of my journey.

I would ask “Is this actually achievable?” because for so long, everything that I had attempted to achieve, I failed. It would start with that gung-ho optimistic mentality of, “rah rah I'm gonna get clean.” or “Today's gonna be it. I got it.” And then that day smacks you around, life hits you with the left hook. Your girl hits you with the right hook and family throws two jabs to your face.

What are you supposed to do then? You believed it was achievable at the beginning of the day, but by two o'clock you found yourself hitting up the dope dealer or going by the liquor shop because you needed to get that relief, that comfort, what is actually achievable and what you think is achievable might have a gap between it.

Here's how you close that gap. You find something that seems just a little bit out of your reach and you shoot towards that first. In my book, what I talk about is titrating, reducing the amount that I used to get to none without significant withdrawals. I would wake up thinking it was achievable to not drink all day. Go completely dry, when the night before I had just cashed out two bottles, like in my head, I thought that was achievable. I thought that was something I could actually do.

I'm a very optimistic person. And I think that I can do a lot more than I really can. That's something I had to come to realize about myself. However, when I started failing at not drinking all day, it hurt me because I stopped believing in myself and what I could actually achieve when I switched the game up. And I said, you know what? It's not all or nothing. I just need to do better today. I started making that my achievable goal by doing better just for today.

I began to believe in myself more. You see, that's when I realized, all right, Nico, you can not drink. Two bottles Every night is killing. Legitimately killing you!. So a bottle, a bottle and a pint, but I wouldn't ever go to two bottles. I set a cap for myself. As long as I didn't pass that cap, I believed in myself. When I began to believe it was achievable to not drink two bottles every day. That's when I began to believe that I could really, really make some significant changes in my life…..when I started to believe, it made me think I could do even better! Then moved to a bottle and a half. Completed that for a couple days or weeks. New day and new cap! When I started to believe that and make that my achievable task, My brain started working together with my spirit and body.

It wasn't fighting itself all the time. Saying that I wanted to do one thing and then actually doing another causes internal conflict. That internal conflict is what drives us to confusion. Overthinking and frustration. If confusion, overthinking, and frustration are some of the main reasons that you find yourself drinking, then it might be because you don't believe that you could actually achieve something that you told yourself you can and something that your spirit knows it can get done. Remember how we talked about three portions to every human. You got the physical portion, you got the mental portion. You got the spiritual portion. That spiritual portion knows what you could actually achieve when you physically don't believe it. And when you logically make reasons not to do it, that's why your spirit hurts. Most people drink because their spirit is feeling bad. One of the main reasons that I drank was because my spirit was feeling bad, hurt ashamed!

Having a logical mapped out solution is a plan. Having an emotional connection without a plan is faith. Do you have an emotional connection to achieving whatever it is that you want to achieve in your relationship with alcohol and drugs? Because it's gonna take a little faith. You had faith. When you first started drinking, you had faith. When you first started using

“Nico, I've never believed in God”

All right, whatever your belief is, what I'm saying is that your faith muscle was exercised. When you picked up that bottle and you started drinking after you knew that it wasn't the best thing for you. You had faith that said, “oh, this drink is gonna make me feel less pain or more pleasure.” So you exercise a faith muscle believing it will happen. I'm saying faith you have had faith in a decision that you were making. Can you exercise that same faith and say, “by not drinking, by not using, I'm gonna achieve more pleasure.”or “ I'm gonna avoid more pain.”It's unfortunately very simple. What we believe inside of our heads and inside of our hearts, our spirit brings to life around us. I didn't know how I was gonna get clean. I knew I was gonna do it though. I didn't know how many attempts it was gonna take, but I knew I was gonna be successful at one of them. I was gonna achieve it.

I ask you, what is your definition of sober? What is the step that you need to take today to make that achievable? The goal is not to be angel soft goal is to do better today. Even if that means you have No Halo! If you want a program go to www.NoHaloNM.com