The up's and downs

Stop drinking and Start Living Alcohol Free. How to Stop Drinking, you gotta find a consistent way to handle the good days and the bad days.

Nicolas Morales

6/28/20227 min read

Yo yo Yo Nico here.

Thank you so much for joining me today. The topic that I'm gonna be discussing is the ups and downs of recovery. Can you tell me some of the downs that you have experienced? Most people know these off the top of their head.

What about the ups that you've experienced? Not so many people remember those off the top of their head. You see, as we've discussed, recovery is a non-linear process. What that means is that there's not a step by step guide that somebody can give you for your specific results. But Nico, there's AA out there. They got the 12 steps. That's a step by step guide. You're right. But the 12 steps, if you look at 'em are topic based and you still have to do the internal work. What I'm saying is that nobody can tell you how to do that internal work step by step. So there is no step by step guide for this path that you're on.

What are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to figure it out? I think that the unknown of that question right there is what drives a lot of people to, go back to using, go back to past behaviors that weren't as beneficial, the steps and the ups and downs we need to learn from 'em both. I was thinking about some of the downs that I experienced when I was using, right now I'm dealing with this fungus that's growing on, on my skin. It's gross. It's called ringworm. And I got it because I wasn't cleaning the mat that I worked out on every day. Right. I don't know if you've ever had ringworm. , but it's real itchy. It's gross looking. Um, it's not appealing whatsoever, but I remember using and having a cyst boil up on my skin. I, know what that feels like. I know what it smells like when it pops, know what the stuff looks like. that oozes out. Yo, that's a down for me and up for me, man, earlier today, I was hanging out with my niece. She's about to be a year old and she just, her face just brings so much joy. And in my head I'm excited and I have a responsibility to make sure she never knows the person that I was. So I find joy that I get to build a new relationship with her. Like she's never gonna know Tio as a heroin addict. She's never gonna know Tio as a drunk. So there is a joy that I get from, um, interacting with her. There's a joy that I get from my sister wanting to talk to me. Now, there's a time that my sister would freak out When I called cuz she knew it was for something. There's a joy that I get, that my family is excited to hear from me.

There's a joy that I get that when I'm out on a date with the girl, I'm not so much worried about covering up my track marks or how I'm gonna get off to go use. I actually can be present and enjoy that person, personality, their traits, and get to learn about them. You see there's small little joys that I pick up in my recovery that won't happen unless I stay focused on it. And I remember the setbacks because I don't get me wrong There's a time that I did 60 days clean But because I wasn't in the right mental state, it was a setback. I was all excited. I did 60 days. I'm good to go, bro. Like I don't got a problem with drugs 61 days though, and guess what your boy was doing...... well I was shooting up. It was a setback and I remember the shame and the guilt and the regret that I felt from doing that. And I used that. So how do you use your setbacks? How do you use your successes? Is my question. Are you an individual who hits a setback and says, well, there it is. I tried. I'm good to go. I gave it my best shot.

Or are you the individual that says, you know what? I get an opportunity to learn from this setback because I didn't take the right approach for it. Hey, there's something that can be taken from this setback it is just learning opportunities. But if you are in a mindset that says a setback is, a failure, then yeah it's gonna be a lot tougher to get to where you wanna be. Ideally by now you have your definition of sober. What is it? What setbacks might you face to get there? What successes are you looking forward to? When you get there, be prepared to know that this path is gonna be up and down, up and down there gonna be days where you wake up, gung ho, ready to take on the world. Then there's gonna be days where you wake up and you don't even wanna put your feet on the ground, but you still have to.

It's how you handle both of those days. And if you can, can handle them consistently with the same habits, same behaviors, same techniques that will define how long you get to stay on this personal development journey. Your level of success in anything is determined by your level of personal development. For so many of us, we have internal self talk that shouldn't be there. We need to change. We have internal insecurities that we need to overcome for a lot of us males. We try to validate our manhood through the ways that been traditionally told to us instead of self reflecting and offering ourselves as the ultimate sacrifice, knowing that I have my desires, I have my wants, but the betterment of my community is overall. Too many individuals now, seek their own personal pleasure over providing opportunities for others. Then they get all mad because nobody wants to help 'em out. It's an exchange. Life is a ebb and a flow. Why does anybody think that getting clean should be a straight line? It cracks me up. It really does. And I used to think that way I used to think, well I did 30 days. I should be good to go. Did 60 days I should be fine now. No, that's not how it works. Each day is a brand new day. On that day, it's either gonna have some ups and some downs.

You're gonna have some setbacks that day and you're gonna have some successes that day, how you handle it and how you move will determine if the next day will be successful as well. See, a lot of people get inflated heads, oh man, I had this roadblock yesterday. I had this barrier yesterday and I overcame it. So today I'm gonna do the same thing. Well, today's a new day and you're gonna have a different obstacle. You're gonna have a different roadblock because you overcame the previous day. You get a new challenge every day. For a lot of us, the challenge stays the same because we haven't overcame it. If your challenge is to stop drinking, it's because you haven't overcame it. You haven't figured out what's internally inside of you. That ails you, that you think drinking solves, same thing goes for using drugs. There's something that ails you, that you haven't figured out, that you haven't resolved a conflict, unresolved conflict causes more conflict. So you just perpetuate the problem because you want to be comfortable. You dont want to deal with, "oh, it doesn't feel good." It's not supposed to feel good.

Quite honestly. Life is supposed to be uncomfortable for us. And it's so that we can create new opportunities. We can create better versions of ourselves and we can create new, avenues for others. If you are looking for a step by step I'm sorry, go find another platform. But if you're looking for the real insights, the stuff that people don't talk about, because they're afraid to take responsibility for it, Please stick around. We're not made angel soft around here. We carry no halo for a reason. I speak so passionately on this stuff because 10 years it took me to figure out what was internally ailing me before I solved it. And before that, there was about five years where I just wanted death. Alcohol is not this solution using is not the solution. If you're looking for some self-help resources to get you started, there's a smart start package that I have both for free and paid on my website. So there's non reason why you shouldn't be taking advantage of it. If it's something that you claim you want, if you wanna know some more insights, there's five things I know that you need to know before you get sober. There books, a penny digital version right now. I keep my stuff at the same amount that you're probably spending on your alcohol in a week that you're probably spending a day. Mainly because if you want the resources, if you want the answers, I'll provide 'em to you. But I only wanna mess with people who want help.

The reality is a lot of individuals want a step by step plan. And then when it fails, they want somebody that they can blame. That's what it is. Nobody wants to take responsibility. If you take responsibility, then you own the ups and the downs. Regardless when you take responsibility for yourself and for your own actions for your own internal insecurities, that's when the world starts to bend the way that you want it to. My goal is not to tell you how to get clean. My goal is to guide you to the thoughts that will allow you to create that sobriety for yourself. Please find a way to do better today.

Let me know your thoughts! Schedule a chat if you need some strategies! You are Amazing!